Marriage Advice No. 2

I wrote our first advice last year, and just now comes the second. And again, I reiterate, that we are no expert, we are just sharing insights from what we are learning as married couple to maybe somehow help other couples too.

In any romantic relationship, love is important, but so is, respect, forgiveness, trust, faithfulness, understanding, patience, and the list goes on. Your relationship will not survive a lifetime if it is only anchored on love and love alone. It needs to be anchored on the list I've mentioned (and what I've said the list goes on). But most importantly, first, your relationship needs to have a deeper and strong foundation, and that is God. And those aspects will naturally be born as you go on with your relationship. 

And sometimes, in order to give your lifetime partner the respect, faithfulness, understanding he deserves you need to let go of things that makes him feel otherwise. That includes cutting ties or attachment that he doesn't approve of. I have to admit that I don't understand this at first. We argue over this thinking he doesn't widen his mind and see from my perspective. I have seen him as someone who lacks faith in my love for him whenever this issue arises. I actually made steps to make him build the same attachment I have with this person. And I thought for awhile it worked. It was only when I saw and felt my man's pain brought by the attachment I have with this friend, I realized that I am not becoming of a wife he deserves. I am hurting him. And I am choosing to hurt him with having this attachment he doesn't approve of. And I don't like hurting him. It hurts me too. And so, I cut the ties with my long time friend.  

Don't get the idea that this post is about me cheating. No. I would never hurt him like that. The attachment I am talking about is a long time friendship with an opposite sex. Do I love him?Yes, but I only love him as a friend. That's for certain. There are only few things I am certain about, and that's one of it. We've known eachother since High School, and he is one of the few people who stayed all through my life's seasons. That's why I don't understand why I have to cut our ties. Our friendship is that deep already, deep but not in a romantic way. That is maybe why it's hard to let go. I thought it could exist side by side with our married life. But I have married my man whom I vow to keep on choosing everyday over someone. And if it hurts him, I don't want it. 

So to that friend, If you're reading this... This is the answer to why I suddenly stop communicating with you. You always told me your girl is not bothered with our relationship, but my man is. I told you once that before, and you being friend with him didn't work. I will still be your friend and will always be your Basyang but let me be just a friend from a distance, supporting you quietly. I can no longer be by your side with all the activities we share interest with,  am sure your girl will do that with you. Continue living happy. 

And to you, my Man, I love you. I respect you. I understand you. I will be faithful to you for the rest of my life. And just like my vow, I will always choose you. I would turn my back to whatever is hurting you. Which made me realize, that If I were in your position, I would definitely feel jealous too and might do something unpleasant with you and your girl friend. But you always turn your back to whatever hurts me. Indeed, I  blessed having you. Thank you for being so patient with me. I love you everyday, always.  

And that my dearest readers, is our marriage advice for this season. Look forward for more. 

Nakalimutan Ko Nang Kalimutan Ka (Favorite Scenes)

Took me quite a while to watch again a comedy film and I wasn't disappointed of this one. I was really laughing hard while watching the scenes below. They were so funny that I have decided to have a copy of them.

Go on and play the clips below. 😅

P.S. I didn't like the ending though. 

Battling Anxiety and Depression: You are not Alone

I never knew what depression and anxieties are until it hit me and experienced it myself. Thank God, He helped me go through it.

The first thing you should do when you are in this situation is to accept the fact that you're in that state of mind: anxious and depress. Otherwise, you wouldnt't be able to get out of it.

Second, don't pretend that you are tough and not needing the help of others. Don't build walls around you. Don't indulge yourself in the thought that no one will understand what you are going through. It is a lie that the enemy is instilling in your mind for you to lose this battle. Seek help from God and He will give you the right persons to also help you go through it. Be open to your family. Never ever doubt them. Ask for prayers. Listen to what God is saying to you. In this world, you will only recognize the voice and leading of God if you have a relationship with Him. Have a relationship with Jesus and the rest will follow. It won't be easy but you will be victorious with your relationship with Him. Be vulnerable to Him and trust Him.

Third, do the things that awaken the motivation in you. In my case, reconnecting with the nature plays a big part of it (although I am doing it quite some time before). It helped me remember how awesome and sovereign God is. It makes me remember how faithful God is in my life. It refreshes my whole being. Also, it makes me write and if you are following my blogs, you know for sure that writing is my passion. Reconnecting with the nature makes me create and produce a passion; a passion which was placed by God in my heart from the very beginning.

Fourth, use your situation to inspire and help others who go through the same situation. Like what I am doing now -- sharing this story. You went through it for a reason. And that reason will be revealed by God. But be careful, remember that what you went through wasn't about you. You should proclaim the goodness and works of God. Don't put yourself ahead of Him. Don't be decieved.

Fifth, say 'thank you' to all the persons God sent during your battle. Appreciate them. Family or friends. They are the truest of all the persons you have in your life.

Sixth, forgive those who have hurt you or caused you to suffer depression and anxiety. It doesn't matter if they ask for it or not. They may not know what they have caused you. Still, forgive. Release your forgiveness. And again, it is only possible when you have a relationship with Jesus. Because having a relationship with Jesus is also knowing Him intimately day by day, and you will know how big His heart is when it comes to forgiveness.

Seventh, and probably last, remember this passage from the Bible where Jesus said: Take heed and be of good courage, I have overcome the world. I forgot the verse but you can search it on google to double check. :D

Now to end this blog, here's some photos to lighten up your mood. These are proofs how sovereign God is. The world is His canvass, witness and feel.

-end-

Remarkable Scene: Cardboard Boxer

LAHAT

If you do not understand the word above, please use Google Translate: Filipino to English. Salamat! :D

But let me put the scene where I cried myself out loud, or in our word "ngal-ngal"... but still, I managed to "ngal-ngal"  quietly. :P

Also, the film itself (including the story, script, cinematography, actors, background music, and everything that completes the film) is remarkable or probably beyond. Watch it to further understand what I'm talking about.

P.S. I was actually looking for a film to watch then delete right after the end. But this one is staying. :D

Remarkable Part: Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

Several months ago, the TV series of this book was released and have watched by many. And for quite some time it went trending on line. While I, who's not into "what's in and what's not", managed to ignore the hype -- the way I am ignoring Game of Thrones. Well, I don't know if ignoring is the right term, but seriously, I don't give an F ;p or they're just aren't my thing.

Anyway, a friend from work has a copy of the book even before the series came to life. I wasn't aware of it. I didn't know that Thirteen Reasons Why was originally from a novel. So, I asked her the difference between the two and which is better. She said, the series changed several things from the original story. And she suggested that I should try reading the novel and later compared it with the TV series.

And now, here I am sharing my thoughts regarding its remarkable parts... remarkable parts for me, of course. Who else will be the judge here?  ;p

1.

 ...money.

(Halfway reading this book, I started to question the story. Like, "Gosh, what kind of town / school is this? Why all the characters are evil? Lahat na lang masama ugali? Duh!" And then, finally, I read something like this. At least, the book still proves that there's still hope in humanity.)

2.

(I feel Hannah. People need to stop talking when they don't even understand what they're talking about: the subject or the situation. Sometimes we just think what to say, but obviously failed to feel. And the truth is, we become a sounding cymbals. It's so annoying. And sometimes, irritating. And that won't help anyone.)

3.

(This book didn't mention about God. Not even a single word about Him. What the book failed to tell as a whole is that people who go through situations like Hannah should surrender everything to God. Yes, give up! Give up and give all your burdens, heartaches, disappointments, failures, brokenness and everything in between. Give it up to God. Cry it all out to Him -- The Great Listener, The Father, The Comforter and so on. He knows what you are going through and He wants you to stop looking around you and fix your eyes on Him. You are seeking help almost to everyone except God. Hannah did look and seek help to people around her, although indirectly, and she keeps on failing. Why? Because people, or whoever that person is, they will eventually fail you at some point in your life. We do that and we are so good at that. But God will not. And the lines above, reminds me of God. This is a perfect representation of Him and someone who completely leans on Him. We should be that car and God is our owner. He is always around to fix you.)

4.

(This reminds me of my man. The only man, next to God, who tried harder and keeps on trying harder. And wouldn't it be nice to do the same with your loved ones? They will thank you in the end and you will probably thank yourself too. They will feel good, and you will too. It's a win win situation. :D)


So there goes your penny for my thoughts.  ;p
And by the way, I'm still not going to watch the TV series. So, will you do the comparison for me. :D

Remarkable Part: Traveler of the Century by Andres Neuman

(warning: spoiler alert)

I've been reading this book for several months and just two weeks ago, finally, I have read its last sentence. 

This was actually the first time I've seen this kind of format when it comes to narrative novel and I got confused on the first few pages of this book -- making me read a sentence twice or thrice in order to understand who's speaking the lines. But as I continue reading, I got used to it. 

There are scenarios that bore me, like those parts when the characters are having discussions about philosophers, wirters, of which I have no idea if they exist in real life. And maybe that's the reason why it took me several months to finish the book. 

But there are lots of interesting part, I must say. And there are, of course, remarkable parts (for me). And below are they:

1.

I just wonder why Neuman should be so heartless in this part -- instead of letting the butterfly free, he killed it rather. I guess, I don't know, maybe sometimes no matter how good your intentions are you will only end up hurting someone or maybe we should not intervene with the law of nature. Anyway, whatever is the reason behind this part, this made me feel sad. I mean, for me, Sophie is right, man!

2.

This is remarkable, well, because I find it funny. 😂 

3.

I cried for Rudi while reading his words.  No one deserves betrayal. No one deserves to be let down by people they love. No one. 

4.

(Reread the description at no. 3)

5.

The tautology part. That literally made me LOL.

It goes something like this:

"We realized that we're looking for a man who is unhappy of his baldness."

"What a stupid tautology! What kind of man is happy with his baldness?"

😂😂😂

6.

You could have prevented this, Hans. But, you didn't. 

There you go.  I hope this post gives you interest to read this book. Although, I must say, I don't quite like the ending. 😁

Remarkable Scene: Shattered Glass

Warning: Spoiler Alert! (Stop reading now if you have not yet watched the film... But still, it's up to you... :D)

Shattered Glass was based on a true story but I was not expecting that the protagonist in this film will turn out as antagonist in the end. We all hate liars, and that Stephen Glass (the main character of the film) was not just a liar, he's a perfect liar. The kind of liar that would make another lie just to justify or cover the lies he had made. I HATE THAT KIND OF PERSON and I DON'T ALLOW THEM IN MY LIFE ANYMORE ONCE THEY GET BUSTED. I freaking hate how they can lie to you so perfectly. And to top it all, this guy worked in a world where truth and facts is a must, and is highly expected from them.

And since, I don't know nor have any idea about Stephen Glass, I have no idea how the story will turn out. And while I am watching the film, I was expecting that somehow things will be justified for the guy: that he has just been fooled by a source or something like that; that he did it on purpose to show or prove something regarding the world of journalism; that it was his first time to do such act; that he was really incapable of lying. But nah.

Anyway, although I hate those kind of jerks, I must admit that we all have flaws. We all have our favorite sin, some just sin differently. Or maybe it's a kind of sickness that they should be healed from. And still, we can learn something from the film, especially those aspiring journalists. :D

Below are scenes that somehow match the name of this blogsite :D

1. Reality can be so funny...

2. Her question will give a different meaning once you re-watched the film.

3. The word "influence" -- one of the main objectives in writing (well, at least for me)

4. Well, this is based on truth and facts. :D

5. He did his best, and tried more... I guess, Stephen didn't realize that.

6. Your friends? They will even defend you. But in the end, they'll discover that they too have been fooled.

I feel sorry for Stephen. I've watched some of his interviews and I felt sad for the consequences of what he had done. But that is what sin can do to us. They can break us; shatter us like glasses. And before that thing happen to you, might as well stop now and quit sinning. It is hard but God is just a call away. And redemption is always at hand. You just have to decide to be redeemed. And this is based on truth and facts, whether you accept it or not. :)

I want You To Know, Now I know...

Suddenly I had this eagerness to write something about you; about us. 

I told myself, maybe a year ago, that I won't write about you again. But I realized that would be impossible, since you became part of my life. And every time I'm going to write something about myself, you will always.. always be included in it. You had been part of my life and there's nothing I can do to erase that. And I wouldn't want to erase that. I had learned so much from our past.

But this time I'm not going to write about the pain you have caused me. That was over and done and I have forgiven you.

I'm writing to let you know, if you're reading this, that I realized my fault in our relationship. And I have to admit that I have my mistakes too.

I've been blinded by the fact that it was you who have caused me so  much pain and the very reason why I had to let go. It was you who have pushed me to my limit -- that was what I thought and believed all along; that was what I have told to everybody, even to God. And oh, how selfish I am that it took me almost 3 years to realize what really went wrong. And why we didn't work out.

I have to say sorry and ask for your forgiveness.

I've been so damn stupid for playing cool and not showing how deep my love was for you, when that was all you need -- the assurance that your love for me was not in vain and that I could express mine in return. I'm sorry I failed.

I wonder if I had caused you so much pain when you knew that I lied to you that night you were waiting patiently at our house and told you I was on my way home but the truth was I was still spending time with someone else. And because you didn't ask me 'why I lied', I want you to know that I was very much happy with your visit but you should have told me earlier you were coming and maybe I had brought you with me on that date, and met this guy friend; he was an old friend. I'm sorry I didn't say sorry for keeping you waiting just for a 30-minute dinner together. I'm sorry I didn't tell the whole truth as we eat, when maybe that was the only perfect time you were expecting me to tell the truth but then again, I failed you. I'm sorry you had to hear it from someone else but I want you to know that I didn't take you for granted. The fact that you have waited for me though you already know the truth makes me feel a bitch now. I'm sorry.

And for the time I kept on answering phone calls from a close friend while we were together, made me realized how rude I was that time. If you only told me you were jealous at him, I would have kept my distance. I know how it feels and how I wish I didn't make you feel that way. I'm sorry for my ignorance.

I'm sorry for the pain I caused you that night you were at our house and this close friend came and gave more of my attention to him. I want you to know that now I know I've hurt you so that night though you didn't tell. But I want you to know how hard it was for me to divide my attention to both of you. And because you were already close to my family, it was him whom I needed to entertain the most. Besides, he seldom visits me at home while you and me were together like almost everyday. I'm sorry I assumed you would understand.

And probably this was the cruelest thing I did -- that I had the gut to introduce this close friend to my father while you stayed stranger unto him until now. I'm sorry, I just really didn't know how would I introduce you to him. I'm sorry I got scared.

It's okay if you have hated me because of these. You have all the reason to feel that way. And now I understand why your love for me had changed. And though you didn't tell, I want you know that I felt the change.

But please accept my apology for all these things I've done even with those I haven't written here that caused you pain in some ways. I'm sorry. You should know that I would never want to hurt you the way you did to me. And now I wonder that maybe it was me who triggered you to cause me that pain. I'm sorry.

I'm not hoping for a second chance, I'm hoping for your forgiveness.