Marriage Advice No. 2

I wrote our first advice last year, and just now comes the second. And again, I reiterate, that we are no expert, we are just sharing insights from what we are learning as married couple to maybe somehow help other couples too.

In any romantic relationship, love is important, but so is, respect, forgiveness, trust, faithfulness, understanding, patience, and the list goes on. Your relationship will not survive a lifetime if it is only anchored on love and love alone. It needs to be anchored on the list I've mentioned (and what I've said the list goes on). But most importantly, first, your relationship needs to have a deeper and strong foundation, and that is God. And those aspects will naturally be born as you go on with your relationship. 

And sometimes, in order to give your lifetime partner the respect, faithfulness, understanding he deserves you need to let go of things that makes him feel otherwise. That includes cutting ties or attachment that he doesn't approve of. I have to admit that I don't understand this at first. We argue over this thinking he doesn't widen his mind and see from my perspective. I have seen him as someone who lacks faith in my love for him whenever this issue arises. I actually made steps to make him build the same attachment I have with this person. And I thought for awhile it worked. It was only when I saw and felt my man's pain brought by the attachment I have with this friend, I realized that I am not becoming of a wife he deserves. I am hurting him. And I am choosing to hurt him with having this attachment he doesn't approve of. And I don't like hurting him. It hurts me too. And so, I cut the ties with my long time friend.  

Don't get the idea that this post is about me cheating. No. I would never hurt him like that. The attachment I am talking about is a long time friendship with an opposite sex. Do I love him?Yes, but I only love him as a friend. That's for certain. There are only few things I am certain about, and that's one of it. We've known eachother since High School, and he is one of the few people who stayed all through my life's seasons. That's why I don't understand why I have to cut our ties. Our friendship is that deep already, deep but not in a romantic way. That is maybe why it's hard to let go. I thought it could exist side by side with our married life. But I have married my man whom I vow to keep on choosing everyday over someone. And if it hurts him, I don't want it. 

So to that friend, If you're reading this... This is the answer to why I suddenly stop communicating with you. You always told me your girl is not bothered with our relationship, but my man is. I told you once that before, and you being friend with him didn't work. I will still be your friend and will always be your Basyang but let me be just a friend from a distance, supporting you quietly. I can no longer be by your side with all the activities we share interest with,  am sure your girl will do that with you. Continue living happy. 

And to you, my Man, I love you. I respect you. I understand you. I will be faithful to you for the rest of my life. And just like my vow, I will always choose you. I would turn my back to whatever is hurting you. Which made me realize, that If I were in your position, I would definitely feel jealous too and might do something unpleasant with you and your girl friend. But you always turn your back to whatever hurts me. Indeed, I  blessed having you. Thank you for being so patient with me. I love you everyday, always.  

And that my dearest readers, is our marriage advice for this season. Look forward for more. 

Battling Anxiety and Depression: You are not Alone

I never knew what depression and anxieties are until it hit me and experienced it myself. Thank God, He helped me go through it.

The first thing you should do when you are in this situation is to accept the fact that you're in that state of mind: anxious and depress. Otherwise, you wouldnt't be able to get out of it.

Second, don't pretend that you are tough and not needing the help of others. Don't build walls around you. Don't indulge yourself in the thought that no one will understand what you are going through. It is a lie that the enemy is instilling in your mind for you to lose this battle. Seek help from God and He will give you the right persons to also help you go through it. Be open to your family. Never ever doubt them. Ask for prayers. Listen to what God is saying to you. In this world, you will only recognize the voice and leading of God if you have a relationship with Him. Have a relationship with Jesus and the rest will follow. It won't be easy but you will be victorious with your relationship with Him. Be vulnerable to Him and trust Him.

Third, do the things that awaken the motivation in you. In my case, reconnecting with the nature plays a big part of it (although I am doing it quite some time before). It helped me remember how awesome and sovereign God is. It makes me remember how faithful God is in my life. It refreshes my whole being. Also, it makes me write and if you are following my blogs, you know for sure that writing is my passion. Reconnecting with the nature makes me create and produce a passion; a passion which was placed by God in my heart from the very beginning.

Fourth, use your situation to inspire and help others who go through the same situation. Like what I am doing now -- sharing this story. You went through it for a reason. And that reason will be revealed by God. But be careful, remember that what you went through wasn't about you. You should proclaim the goodness and works of God. Don't put yourself ahead of Him. Don't be decieved.

Fifth, say 'thank you' to all the persons God sent during your battle. Appreciate them. Family or friends. They are the truest of all the persons you have in your life.

Sixth, forgive those who have hurt you or caused you to suffer depression and anxiety. It doesn't matter if they ask for it or not. They may not know what they have caused you. Still, forgive. Release your forgiveness. And again, it is only possible when you have a relationship with Jesus. Because having a relationship with Jesus is also knowing Him intimately day by day, and you will know how big His heart is when it comes to forgiveness.

Seventh, and probably last, remember this passage from the Bible where Jesus said: Take heed and be of good courage, I have overcome the world. I forgot the verse but you can search it on google to double check. :D

Now to end this blog, here's some photos to lighten up your mood. These are proofs how sovereign God is. The world is His canvass, witness and feel.

-end-

Remarkable Part: Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

Several months ago, the TV series of this book was released and have watched by many. And for quite some time it went trending on line. While I, who's not into "what's in and what's not", managed to ignore the hype -- the way I am ignoring Game of Thrones. Well, I don't know if ignoring is the right term, but seriously, I don't give an F ;p or they're just aren't my thing.

Anyway, a friend from work has a copy of the book even before the series came to life. I wasn't aware of it. I didn't know that Thirteen Reasons Why was originally from a novel. So, I asked her the difference between the two and which is better. She said, the series changed several things from the original story. And she suggested that I should try reading the novel and later compared it with the TV series.

And now, here I am sharing my thoughts regarding its remarkable parts... remarkable parts for me, of course. Who else will be the judge here?  ;p

1.

 ...money.

(Halfway reading this book, I started to question the story. Like, "Gosh, what kind of town / school is this? Why all the characters are evil? Lahat na lang masama ugali? Duh!" And then, finally, I read something like this. At least, the book still proves that there's still hope in humanity.)

2.

(I feel Hannah. People need to stop talking when they don't even understand what they're talking about: the subject or the situation. Sometimes we just think what to say, but obviously failed to feel. And the truth is, we become a sounding cymbals. It's so annoying. And sometimes, irritating. And that won't help anyone.)

3.

(This book didn't mention about God. Not even a single word about Him. What the book failed to tell as a whole is that people who go through situations like Hannah should surrender everything to God. Yes, give up! Give up and give all your burdens, heartaches, disappointments, failures, brokenness and everything in between. Give it up to God. Cry it all out to Him -- The Great Listener, The Father, The Comforter and so on. He knows what you are going through and He wants you to stop looking around you and fix your eyes on Him. You are seeking help almost to everyone except God. Hannah did look and seek help to people around her, although indirectly, and she keeps on failing. Why? Because people, or whoever that person is, they will eventually fail you at some point in your life. We do that and we are so good at that. But God will not. And the lines above, reminds me of God. This is a perfect representation of Him and someone who completely leans on Him. We should be that car and God is our owner. He is always around to fix you.)

4.

(This reminds me of my man. The only man, next to God, who tried harder and keeps on trying harder. And wouldn't it be nice to do the same with your loved ones? They will thank you in the end and you will probably thank yourself too. They will feel good, and you will too. It's a win win situation. :D)


So there goes your penny for my thoughts.  ;p
And by the way, I'm still not going to watch the TV series. So, will you do the comparison for me. :D

Para Kay Ingkong

This poem was made especially for my dearest friend Ingkong, but no, we don't love each other in a romantic way, and it will never be in that way. :) But I love him, and it's a different kind of love; love that is greater than a friend but not greater than the love I have for my future husband. :)

I made this during those times he felt bad and unwanted because his heart got broken, but I forgot to present this poem to him. I told him I made him a poem but I always forget to bring it with me whenever we meet. And now, he's been facing this kind of ache again; for the same reason and with the same person. And that made me remember this poem, but since we don't have time to see each other, I decided to post it online instead.

So here it is.. :)

Para Kay Ingkong

July 2, 2012

Hindi ko hahayaang ika'y mawala,
Sa aking buhay ay mananatili ka,
Hindi ka matutulad sakanya,
Ang istorya nati'y magiging iba.

Ingkong ika'y aking pahahalagahan,
Iingatan at pagkakatiwalaan
Ngunit ang istorya nati'y magiging iba
Hindi tayo mahuhulog sa isa't isa.

Maaring espesyal ka sa lahat ng kaibigan
Ngunit hindi tayo mag-iibigan
Maaring mahalin kita higit sa kaibigan
Ngunit mananatili tayong magkaibigan kailanman.

Sisiguraduhin kong hanggang wakas,
Mananatili akong Basyang mong wagas,
Hindi ka iiwan sa bawat bukas,
Pwera nalang kung ikaw ang lalayas.

Kaya Ingkong sa 'twing ika'y nalulungkot,
Tandaan mong may Basyang na nangungulangot
Papahiran ang 'yong luha, may kasamang kulangot.
Kaya kung ako sa'yo, hindi na ako malulungkot.



Ingkong, smile ka na! :)