booXthatleaveamarkMIBF2024 Entry

The very reason why I find old preloved books so alluring and irresistible to buy is not just because they are way cheaper but rather, they surprise you in so many ways that you will feel good about yourself for spending so little yet you acquired treasure in return. One thing that buying pricey new books cannot give you, or at least for me. Not to mention that old books smell better. 😁

But, perhaps, one major factor that led me to prefer preloved books than buying new ones, is that I grew up reading incredible short stories for free. Where else? At school.

Reading heartwarming short stories at a very young age, inspired me to write my own too. "Perhaps, I can also make people feel emotion, particularly sadness, with the stories I write", I told myself during elementary days.

Sad stories make people realize more in life, or so I thought back then. Perhaps, because, most short stories featured in our reading books have sad endings and I was greatly influenced by them. Actually, I forgot their titles but I still know their sad endings and how it made me feel hurt and do better in life to avoid their endings.

Moving up to High School, oh my, the novels have much more depressing storylines 😅. From Ibong Adarna to Florante at Laura to Rizal's. Name it! How do you want to feel hurt? High School mandatory novels have different ways to do so. And then, there I was creating sad poems and short stories because they stir up something in the readers' heart. People make a move when they get hurt. Whatever it is I wanted to fuel the movement.

College came, I was more exposed to literature. The Iliad, Shakespeare's, and the Greek Myth were some of the storyline that amazed me (even until now). Well, because I was brought up to love sad stories anyway.

Yet still, I didn't spend a peso to read all of them.

And the first time I did. It was around P500 or P800 (I already forgot). It was because of the hype. And I thought I'm going to be reading a very good novel. I will not name the title and the author, but it was a famous filipino writer who conducts free script writing training/workshop. And I was dismayed. Well, maybe it was just me, because this writer is famous nationwide and he has existing fandom. I felt bad for the money I spent.

And then, I met stories of Bob Ong. Now this man (presumably) really moved me not just to write but to become a writer myself. And this is the first author that made me save money to buy his books. But I must admit, I have read most of his books by borrowing friends'.

Anyway, why do I tell all of this? (And I hope you're still reading this entry 😅) because I want to make a point that, we might not realize it, but every book and story we read plays a vital role into becoming or shaping who we are as time goes by. All of the books and stories we had read had left a mark on our soul. Some subtle, some are obvious, some you don't even realize but it's there, somewhere.

I love the touch of sunlight on my skin perhaps because of the stories of the Aetas I read on childhood who were bullied because of their skin color and made me realized that it's not nice to bully and having dark skin is not something to be ashamed of.

I chose and married the love of my life because I became wiser by reading tragic love stories and chose to learn from them. (But mostly because I am sure he is the one, so unless you're sure, don't.)

I am how I behave and think today because somehow, partly, it's because of Bob Ong's Macarthur. And perhaps, his writings had greatly influenced my own style in writing. Also he had me looking for other Filipino authors who have skills in writing stories that make people feel and move... and led me hoping to be one of them.

But this time, after reading all the books that left a mark on me in different ways, I don't want to write sad and depressing stories anymore. Rather, I want to make stories that aid people to write their own survival story or at least lead them into survival. Darkness is a scary place, I'd like to provide a torch. Just like how I found one when I needed it the most.

P. S. I still won't buy pricey new books, so joining this gives me a pass to enjoy them without spending a dime, presumably I got picked as one of the winners 😅

#booXthatleaveamarkMIBF2024 entry

(Two years later commentary: Olats 'tu. Pero nireread ko, ayos naman for posting dito sa blog site ko. Naguluhan siguro yung jury kung ano yung books that leave a mark. O malabo at puro kwento na ginawa ko.)

Nandito sa gedli, payapa

 

2009 nung napagpasyahan kong gumawa ng account sa FB. Kanina napagpasyahan nilang i-disabled ang account ko sa 'di mawaring dahilan.

Ganun lang kadali.

Ewan ko kung maibabalik pa 'yung account ko, pero neknek nila, dahil hindi ako magmamakaawa para ibalik nila 'yun o magbabayad para maging verified account. Isang bes ko lang susubukan, kung ayaw nila edi fine, they lost me forever. 

Excited na din akong maexperience ang mundong walang Facebook. Duh.

Anyway, available ako dito sa mga blogger/blogspot account ko kung interesado ka pa ding makipag interact sa akin. I have 4 blog sites here on blogspot/blogger, look for  them inside "about the author" diyan sa gilid to view all. Also, I am part of the website ditokayshellan.com and very much excited to talk to you on that platform. 

I have also X and Tumblr accounts, comment down a title of a book then I will share you my account name on those socials. Masyadong makalat ang X account ko, early warning na yan ha.

And, if you know me personally and wondering where you can reach me easily, I have Viber and Whatsapp account, see you there. (Ayoko sana ng whatsapp kasi meta din yun, pero mas active dun ang mga mahal ko sa buhay.)

Gusto ko lang din gamitin ang blogpost na 'tu para iappreciate ang mga mahal ko sa buhay na nag-adjust para makakonek pa din sa akin. Well, alam ko naman na hahanapin nila ko. Ganun kataas ang confidence ko na one of these days, may magmemessage sa akin at kilala ko na agad sila. Hindi ako nagkamali. Mga kaibigan ko sila pero itinuturing ko na na mahal sa buhay. Una, e dahil sa mga pinagsamahan; pangalawa, dahil nakita na nila yata ako sa lahat ng istado ng buhay ko mula pagkanene na immature, hanggang sa adult na immature 😂 at sa mga pinagdaanan kong 'di nila ako iniwan. They've witnessed my darkest days and chose to stay. More than half of my existence kasama ko na ata  sila. I'm happy that I have a small circle of true friends na sigurado akong ikekeep ako kahit anong mangyari. Parang sa movie na 3 Idiots, nung sinabi ni Amir Khan na may dalawang idiots na maghahabap sa kanya. Ganun din kataas ang confidence level ko. Ikikeep ko din sila, kahit anong mangyari. Wait. Naging kadramahan na 'tu na parang entry sa Maalaala Mo Kaya 😂 pero ganun nga siguro talaga, you will know who your people are. Naalala ko tuloy, gumawa ako ng tula about diyan:

Pero in this case, alam ko na agad kung sino sila.

Aaaannnnnd, if you'd like to indulge yourself some boring stories, go to my wattpad account named shellaseven. See yah around!

O eto, proof of existence wearing my favorite haircut: 

See yah around!

And if you're wondering, no, hindi na ako gagawa kahit kailan ng another FB account.

Ay may YouTube account nga pala ako, @ditokayshellaB, subscribe and stay connected. Pero kung ayaw mo, okay lang din naman. Hehe. Shalom! 

Serotonin Producer

Apparently, there is something more effective than the rays of sunlight and going outside can give you -- soaking in the presence of God or in a more understandable statement, communing with God / spending time through talking about everything under the sun with your Maker.

There are times that staying at home gives you comfort and peace of mind, but I don't know if you have already noticed this that staying too long inside a place where sunlight cannot reach you will lead into feeling unexplainable tiredness or in my language "nawawalan ng gana sa buhay". I advice that if you ever start feeling that way, go out. In hale the air of outside and soak yourself under the rays of sunlight.

But, as I have mentioned earlier, soaking in the presence of God is more effective. It will definitely lighten your emotion and produce a joyous spirit the moment you spend your time in His presence... appreciating all His glory and faithfulness in your life. He is the real producer of the so-called serotonin.

And if you have doubt with everything I say here, experience it yourself. And I pray that you get to encounter the real Producer of the so-called serotonin and start towards a life where you have a relationship with Him, if you have not yet. Shalom! 

Para Kay Bob Ong at sa Masugid na Tiga Basa ng mga Sinauna Kong Blog

Kamusta ka na Bob Ong? Dekada na din ang lumipas mula nung mabalitaan kong may bago kang librong isinulat. Nagsusulat ka pa ba? Namimiss ba kita? Oo, naman. Ikaw kaya ang nagudyok sa akin na posible pa lang maging manunulat kahit hindi nakapaloob sa teyoryang itinuturo sa literatura. Magsulat ka kung paano ka magsalita, parang ganun. 'Di mo kailangan pekein ang personalidad ng paglalahad mo ng istorya, parang ganun. 

Anyway, hindi naman ako sumulat para lang kamustahin ka kasi malabo namang sumagot ka at malaman ko ang kalagayan mo. Pero, gusto ko lang malinawan at masiguro sa sarili ko na hindi naman siguro madumi ang isip ko no... Pero kasi, pareho ba tayu ng iniisip dito? 👇

Dahil ito ang pinakapaborito kong libro mo, binasa ko ulit. Ngunit ngayon, may mga detalyeng kagaya niyan, na ngayon ko lang naunawaan ang subtle meaning, kung meron man. Pero sinadya mo 'yan. Please,aminin mo. 😅 Marahil nga ay hinulma na ng panahong lumipas ang aking pag-iisip kaya kung ano-ano na ang napapansin. 😅

Hindi ko pa tinatanong ang iba kung anong palagay nila diyan sa talata na 'yan. Dumeretso ako sa'yo, sa may akda. Kahit alam kong 'di naman aabot ang liham na ito sa iyong lingid.

At sa'yo na masugid na humahalungkat ng aking mga panunulat. Ikaw naman ang pangalawa kong tatanungin... Anong naunawaan mo sa talatang iyan 😅? Nagpapasalamat na din ako dahil dahil sa'yo, nanunumbalik ang paghanga ko sa sarili ko sa mga nailalabas kong salita/talata/pag-iisip sa pamamagitan ng pagsusulat. Parang pwede kong sabihin, "I was a good writer 10 years ago." Pero hindi ko 'yun alam 10 years ago. Ngayon ko lang naappreciate na talaga palang may potential ang mga sinusulat ko.  Tama lang palang inilathala ko ang mga iba kong panunulat dito sa world wide web.

At sa mga hindi naniniwala sa akin, pasensyahan tayo, patuloy akong magsusulat. 🤪 Magsusulat na lang ako ng magsusulat kesa maging decipherer. Kaso, bakit ganun, kahit ayokong magdecipher kusa itong inihahain sa aking harapan. Pero, hindi na nga ako magdedecipher, isinusuko ko na. 'Ba naman the last time I did, saan ba ko pinulot at nakarating? Tulad nitong, liham kong 2in1, kung san-san na nakarating.

O siya, iiwan ko na lang ang isa sa remarkable lines ng kwentong ito. Halos ang buong istorya naman ay remarkable. Kaya nga paborito ko ito, ngunit kung hihingi man ng remarkable line, isa ito 👇 (Hanggang sa muli, Shalom)

"Mga bata pa kayo. Pag pinaniwalaan...

Marriage Advice No. 2

I wrote our first advice last year, and just now comes the second. And again, I reiterate, that we are no expert, we are just sharing insights from what we are learning as married couple to maybe somehow help other couples too.

In any romantic relationship, love is important, but so is, respect, forgiveness, trust, faithfulness, understanding, patience, and the list goes on. Your relationship will not survive a lifetime if it is only anchored on love and love alone. It needs to be anchored on the list I've mentioned (and what I've said the list goes on). But most importantly, first, your relationship needs to have a deeper and strong foundation, and that is God. And those aspects will naturally be born as you go on with your relationship. 

And sometimes, in order to give your lifetime partner the respect, faithfulness, understanding he deserves you need to let go of things that makes him feel otherwise. That includes cutting ties or attachment that he doesn't approve of. I have to admit that I don't understand this at first. We argue over this thinking he doesn't widen his mind and see from my perspective. I have seen him as someone who lacks faith in my love for him whenever this issue arises. I actually made steps to make him build the same attachment I have with this person. And I thought for awhile it worked. It was only when I saw and felt my man's pain brought by the attachment I have with this friend, I realized that I am not becoming of a wife he deserves. I am hurting him. And I am choosing to hurt him with having this attachment he doesn't approve of. And I don't like hurting him. It hurts me too. And so, I cut the ties with my long time friend.  

Don't get the idea that this post is about me cheating. No. I would never hurt him like that. The attachment I am talking about is a long time friendship with an opposite sex. Do I love him?Yes, but I only love him as a friend. That's for certain. There are only few things I am certain about, and that's one of it. We've known eachother since High School, and he is one of the few people who stayed all through my life's seasons. That's why I don't understand why I have to cut our ties. Our friendship is that deep already, deep but not in a romantic way. That is maybe why it's hard to let go. I thought it could exist side by side with our married life. But I have married my man whom I vow to keep on choosing everyday over someone. And if it hurts him, I don't want it. 

So to that friend, If you're reading this... This is the answer to why I suddenly stop communicating with you. You always told me your girl is not bothered with our relationship, but my man is. I told you once that before, and you being friend with him didn't work. I will still be your friend and will always be your Basyang but let me be just a friend from a distance, supporting you quietly. I can no longer be by your side with all the activities we share interest with,  am sure your girl will do that with you. Continue living happy. 

And to you, my Man, I love you. I respect you. I understand you. I will be faithful to you for the rest of my life. And just like my vow, I will always choose you. I would turn my back to whatever is hurting you. Which made me realize, that If I were in your position, I would definitely feel jealous too and might do something unpleasant with you and your girl friend. But you always turn your back to whatever hurts me. Indeed, I  blessed having you. Thank you for being so patient with me. I love you everyday, always.  

And that my dearest readers, is our marriage advice for this season. Look forward for more. 

I cut my bangs shorter than normal

I tried cutting my bangs shorter than the usual because I know I will not be meeting people personally yet since we are not required to RTO for quite some time.

But lo and behold, I was assigned a host at a certain event days after I cut my bangs. 😆

It's just funny how sometimes the world makes fun of your choices in life. And how you respond to it will determine how you'll take advantage of it. 

I embrace it, I had to. Turns out I started liking what I look like with this bangs. 😁

Quarantine Output (so far)

What would be my output after this quarantine? 

Still working on it.

For now, here's some:

Yes, I know, these were quite an output. 

Pardon my golden voice.  😅

Kamusta Passion Mo?

Minsan pagod na 'ko makibahagi patungkol sa topic na 'to. Pagod na kong magbigay ng opinyon at ipalaganap na sa buhay dapat ipinaglalaban mo ang passion mo.

Kasi hindi madali. Baka gumagawa tayo ng "make believe" sa mga tao lalo na sa kabataan tapos sa huli madidismaya lang sila.

Kasi kahit ako dumating na sa puntong tinalikuran ko na yung passion ko dahil tingin ko, wala naman pinapatunguhan. Kailangan ko tumanda. Nandyan ang mga obligasyon na dapat punan; responsibilidad na dapat tugunan. Hindi na kasi tayo bata na meron gagamot ng sugat kapag nadapa; merong sasalo sa t'wing mahuhulog. Hindi ka na bata na laging inaalalayan. Kailangan mo tumayo sa sarili mong paa at para mangyari 'yun may mga bagay kang dapat bitawan katulad ng paghabol mo sa itinuturing mong passion.

Pero alam mo kung anong nakakatawa, kasi kahit sinukuan mo na ang passion mo hindi ito titigil na ipaalala sa'yo kung ano siya sa'yo at kung gaano mo siya minahal o minamahal kasi kahit tinalikuran mo na ito hindi naman ibigsabihin nun na tumigil kang mahalin ito. Kahit anong mangyari karugtong mo na ito; nasa iyo ito. Na may dahilan kung bakit inilagay ng Diyos 'yang bagay na 'yan sa puso mo. Huwag ka sana mapagod manalangin para dito dahil maniwala ka, hindi ka pababayaan ng Diyos. At sana kung hindi ka na naniniwala sa passion mo, wag ka tumigil maniwala na may plano ang Diyos sa buhay mo.

Hindi ko alam kung tama pa rin bang sabihin sa panahon ngayon na gawin mo ang passion mo. Pero ang alam ko, kahit hindi 'to sabihin manunumbalik ito sa'yo at nasa iyong desisyon kung ipaglalaban mo ito ngayon. At kahit hindi mo ito ipaglaban, manunumbalik pa din ito at nasa iyo pa din ang desisyon kung papansinin mo. Paulit-ulit itong babalik at paulit-ulit kang magdedesisyon.

Dalawang Sentimos ko sa Hindi Na Nga ng This Band

Kaya siguro dumadami ang broken family, broken relationship kasi mas nasesensationalized yung ganitong klaseng anggulo ng love story.

Huwag mong boyprinen o girlprinen o pakasalan kung based lang sa nadadama mong "love" ngayon ang dahilan. Instead, alisin mo yung "love" na 'yan na nadarama mo at tanungin mo ang sarili mo kung pipiliin mo pa din ba siya anuman ang mangyari?

Truth be told, kabataan, we will fell out of love 'dun sa taong sinasabi mong mahal mo, but we can fall in love again if you work things out. It's a cycle: love, courtship, marriage, and you must both remain committed and faithful. Cycle sa same person you're in a relationship. Hindi 'yung kapag 'di ka na kinikilig, 'di mo na mahal, 'di ka na naarouse, iiwan mo na, iba naman. Kaya nga may kasabihan sa mag-asawa na dapat araw-araw magligawan kasi the spark will naturally disappear if not ignited.

Kaya kung hindi naman siya yung nakikita mong kaya mong panindigan kahit 'di na siya kamahal-mahal. 'Wag mo na jowain. 'Yun lang, nainis lang ako sa nampoprovoked na kanta pero, 'di ko sinasabing 'di maganda 'yung kanta nila.

Sign of the Times

Tried to record on my phone this guitar session and I was happy the audio turned out so well. This budget friendly phone is highly recommendable for photo and video enthusiast out there.

Also, I'm happy that I can play the chords of this song, which made me like it the very first time I heard it.

Zombie

Zombie by Cranberries

I'm thankful that the chords were easy to play because I really love singing this song.

Perfect (Imperfections)

This is my imperfect cover of Perfect by Ed Sheeran. But practice makes perfect, ayt?

Perfect by Ed Sheeran

Knocking on Heaven's Door

This one's chords were pretty easy. So there I go again. 😂

Knocking on Heaven's Door

Thinking of You Cover

My favorite Katy Perry song. Because it is the only song among her songs that I can play. 😂

Thinking of You

Testing my New Guitar

Thanks to my brother who bought me a new guitar. Now, here I am testing the quality of its sound, and my skill, if it still works fine. 😂 I know, in the middle of the night. 😝

What's Up Cover

I'll be forgetting about karaoke for a while and will be having more time with this new guitar instead. So, I'm sorry, if you are following this blog, expect more of this craziness on future posts. Thank you and good night! 😁

I said I can sing... but I lied... :p

Filipinos love to sing; Whether they can or they think they can. :P
You choose which side I belong. :P

Based on my reactions, I already knew where I should categorize myself. :P(Sorry Michael, I ruined one of your greatest songs :P)

The Art of Being Far

Sometimes you need to go away to know if it's worthy to stay for..

Sometimes you need to leave them behind to know who's going to catch up..

Sometimes you need to be far inorder to be sure of who you want to be near you..

Sometimes you have to go away only to find if you'd want to come back..

Random Act

Ever wonder how writers take a break from what they are writing?

They would sometimes do a random act when it hits their mind.

For example: A writer is writing a scene that includes a camera,

and then she'll be like..

"Wait, does this camera still work?"

"ohh.. it still works.."

or she would describe the hairstyle of the character she is writing about

and then she'll be like..

"Hmm.. Is it time to cut my hair?"

"Nah.. I like it long.." 

(:P Please don't tell the world this is how we work. :P)

Courageous Act

EDI AKO NA DUWAG!

OO AKO NA!! AKO NA!! AKO NA DUWAG!!!
(e ang sakit nung huli e, ba't ba :P this time i'll wait upon the Lord :D and then i'll be brave again.)