Serotonin Producer

Apparently, there is something more effective than the rays of sunlight and going outside can give you -- soaking in the presence of God or in a more understandable statement, communing with God / spending time through talking about everything under the sun with your Maker.

There are times that staying at home gives you comfort and peace of mind, but I don't know if you have already noticed this that staying too long inside a place where sunlight cannot reach you will lead into feeling unexplainable tiredness or in my language "nawawalan ng gana sa buhay". I advice that if you ever start feeling that way, go out. In hale the air of outside and soak yourself under the rays of sunlight.

But, as I have mentioned earlier, soaking in the presence of God is more effective. It will definitely lighten your emotion and produce a joyous spirit the moment you spend your time in His presence... appreciating all His glory and faithfulness in your life. He is the real producer of the so-called serotonin.

And if you have doubt with everything I say here, experience it yourself. And I pray that you get to encounter the real Producer of the so-called serotonin and start towards a life where you have a relationship with Him, if you have not yet. Shalom! 

We never lose our demons...

There's a line from the movie Doctor Strange that I completely agree with, it says "We never lose our demons, we just learned how to live above them." 

I am saved by grace by the blood of Jesus. He is my Savior, I belong to Him. But I do know that being a Christian or a follower of Jesus doesn't make you completely live a life without sinning. Admit or not, no matter how long you are walking with God, you fall down sometimes. And He knows that, He is completely aware that You are bound to make mistakes from time to time. Because truth is, we never lose our demons, unless we are taken to Heaven where it cannot linger around anymore.

Why am I saying all of these? Well, I've made a list:

1. To help you understand the Christian life. To remind you that everytime you fall down and see yourself breaking the heart of Jesus, you must not listen to the voices condemning you. It's not the Holy Spirit's voice, it's the enemy's voice making you believe you are otherwise what God sees in you.

You must run back as immediately as you can to the arms of God, the moment you realize you have messed up. Straight back to Him. Fall down seven times and run straight back to God eight times asking for His forgiveness and grace. Because as long as we Christians are in the flesh, we are bound to sin. Your sin might be great but His love is Greater. He might discipline you, but you, as His sheep, will always be forgiven for your past, present, and future sins.

2. That you can express yourself and see God's truth in the what self-righteous chritians perceive as "worldly". Like perhaps, the one I quoted above might be misinterpreted by them, or me having this cover of the song Demons might make them raise their eyebrows, without seeing beyond the facade.

I'm past that life. Because I now see God in everything. In songs they see as "worldly", in movies they want to get banned or that they don't approve of, in animes they claimed satanical, and so on... It's like I don't live and belong with their shallow belief anymore. I don't know how will you call it, but it's like I'm not part of their system anymore.

3. That yes, we never lose our demons, but we must learn to live above them. How? Jesus. A genuine relationship with Jesus.

You are free to check on your Bible for the biblical references of the things I say here. And you are free to rebuke me if you see something I say here that is not aligned with the Word of God and vice versa. Yes, folks, don't forget to always read your Bible, it's our daily armor. 

Shalom!

Miracle and Pain Part II

"...but with this, am I wasting my miracle?"

We cannot let pain be the master of our life or us be the master of it. If your life is truly surrendered to Jesus, you got to give it up to Him too. I know it felt like you deserve that pain, but you are isolating that part of your life to the power of Jesus. You are disconnecting that part to Jesus. And you know it's wrong. 

So, we got to make the decision to let it go. Don't keep that pain. It's no longer yours the moment you have decided to have a personal relationship with Jesus as your personal Savior and Master of your life (Romans 3:23; Romans 6:23; John 3:16). It's up to Him to decide whether to heal that pain or keep it with you forever. Let him. If He wants that pain written in your heart, okay. If He wants you to completely be healed from it, okay. Just let Him have that decision. He has forgiven your past and perhaps right now, it's hard for you to forgive yourself, it's okay, but don't barricade that part of your life, allow Jesus to work on it.

It's not instantaneous, it is a process. And the first step is you deciding to give it up to God (Colossians 3:1-2 "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on earth."). Put down all the barricade you have placed on that area. It's not yours to keep. It's okay to cry and cry and bleed everytime the thought of it comes to your mind but this time do it while allowing Jesus to work on it (Matthew 11:28-29 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy ladden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your spuls."). It will get better whether he decides to let that pain stay with you or be healed from it. Because He never wasted pain. I know, I, too, will get better handling this pain. I have decided to give this up. It's not for me to hold on it anymore and I am giving it up to Him. I am not the master of this pain nor pain being my master. It's not for me to decide to keep this pain in my life forever. If Jesus will heal this pain, then be it, if He decides to make it stay with me, then be it. But it's completely up to Him. I know whichever His decision is will make me better and falls accordingly to the future He has for me that wouldn't waste the Miracle He has done, is doing, will be doing in my life (Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.").

Grounding Inside the Dark Tunnel

In case you are going through dark times again, where everything is confusing and you seem to lose yourself, wondering why you should need to continue existing, where depression and anxiety are being dominant. I am here to tell you that you are not going through it alone. Most people go through that phase many times in their life and here I am to help you go through this darkness. Let me aid you, with the little light I have, to help you take steps toward the end of this dark tunnel.

I know you feel alone but believe me you're not. Continue trusting and keep the faith that God is with you. There will be times you won't feel His presence in this fight but He's there, just continue walking and soon you'll realize that He indeed never left you. In fact, He is carrying you. Remember the footsteps on the sand? That is a fact.

Aside from that, please accept that you need help. First, from God. Get to know Yeshua (Jesus). Have a relationship with Him. I am a living testimony that He saves. I wouldn't survive this darkness if I haven't have a relationship with Him. I have accepted Him as my personal Savior and believe me when I say He'll keep saving you. All it takes is a faith with a size of a mustard seed to see His glorious works in your life. I encourage you to read the Bible for the references of these things I am sharing with you, but first pray and ask God for guidance so you wouldn't misunderstood God's Word. 

Another important factor to help you get through these dark times, is having a support system. If you have a partner, you must help them understand what you're going through by telling them exactly what is going on with you. No holding back. All. And if you can't find words to explain because it feels it doesn't make sense or you are afraid of being judged or because it sounds crazy, express it though. And if he's/she's going to leave you because of that, let it be. And you'll know you're with the right person if he/she stays. You gotta trust your partner. That's a major factor to survive the next time you find yourself in dark places again. Support system, can also be your family or a close trusted friend. The technique is, there should be someone you completely trust without hesitation and God must come first on the list.

Another important thing is to bring back your consciousness to your first encounter in this dark place so you could know: (1) who put you there at the difficult situation and learn to let go of it, burn bridges if you must. Learn to prioritize your peace. (2) Who helped you survive, who helped you walk through this life, who kept you going. Keep them by all mean, it's not all the time life blesses you with genuine people who'll help you get through dark times. By doing this, you get to know and reclaim your fight and that the battle is not yours but God's. The reason why you are at the very moment where you are. Why you need to keep existing. Perhaps, your ikagai or your new ikagai, if you happen to have finished your previous ikagai. Create or just do something nice for your soul and wellbeing.

It will be tiring, believe me it will be. I myself don't want to continue anymore because it's tiring. I actually have prayed to God to let me be with Him. But there are parts of me that want to survive these dark times, to keep going, to take one step at a time because oo nga pala, the battle is not mine but His. And as I take steps, I am able to see more of God's signs and wonders and His marvelous works. It straightened my faith.

I hope we all get through these dark times and find ourselves trusting God even more than before that we cannot doubt Him anymore because we have experienced Him so much.

I'd love to keep seeing you at the end of the dark tunnels. Let's not lose the source of our light, or the light Himself -- Jesus. Okay?

Something Stronger Than Your Mind

I've come to the point of questioning whether having a strong mind is a blessing or a curse.

We always romanticize strong minded people, but the real deal is that there will be times that your greatest enemy will be your mind. It will shout lies repeatedly. We tend to succumb to these lies not because we are weak minded but it's the other way around - our mind is strong. It just so happened that it turned against us. Those are the times that you've got to be stronger than your mind. And perhaps, it will be the only moment that will make you realize that there is something stronger beyond what keeps our sanity -- Faith.

I am heeding to you to build your faith by having a personal relationship with Jesus. Accept Him as your personal Savior and know Him deeper because that will strengthen your faith, and whatever happens, keep that faith. It will be your greatest weapon the moment your mind becomes your enemy. 

And then, meet me at the phase where we both know that what actually keeps our sanity is our faith to Jesus and His help alone. I would love to have a coffee with you together with my husband. God bless. 

Tips on How to Pass Civil Service Exam (CSE)

First and foremost, allow me to congratulate you for taking your first step to achieve your goal, whIch is basically acquiring tips and reviewers for your Civil Service Exam, otherwise you wont be here reading this blog. 

Alright, let's get going to why you are reading this. Below are the tips I personally learned upon my CSE journey:

1. Don't just review, create a timeline for your review - upon registration for CSE, you have around 3 months or less to prepare for the day itself. Even though the CSC is not releasing yet the exam coverage you have to start reviewing. I suggest you buy a book reviewer because it allows you to make a time frame for each category you have to relearn. Divide each section of the reviewer and mark when you should reach the last page. The CSE is so broad, so might as well start reviewing upon successful registration.

2. Leave the last 2 weeks before the date of exam as refresher of what you did learn for the last 3 months - there's a big chance you will forget what you have reviewed, so allot your last 2 weeks as refresher for what you have reviewed for the last 3 months. 

3. Take down notes - have a personal notebook where you take down notes and important details that you will read back during the last 2 weeks for refresher as mentioned in tip no. 2. Also, studies show that you are more likely to remember stuff when you write it down.

3. Still take time to do what you are passionate about even when reviewing - take it lightly and still do what you are fond about. Whether it is writing poetry, playing guitar, nature tripping, baking, or whatever creative stuff it is, still have some time to do it. I strongly believe that not stressing too much yourself as you review greatly helps. You can also allot only at least 2 hours a day for the review and do some other stuff. Enjoy as you review. Personally, I exclude Mondays as my "no review day", so I think having a break helps. As long as you are achieving your time frame as mentioned on tip no. 1.

4. Join online community - as for me, joining the page of Ma'am Taj Martin (CSE FB Community) really helps me. You will be amazed by the hokage tips you can get from the online community which are beneficial to your goal to pass. I personally suggest that you involve yourself with the online coaches, like Ma'am Taj Martin, Maam Leonalyn, and Team Lyqa, rather than enrolling to a review center. You are really going to need their hokage tips on how to solve/answer questions in easier ways. You may also ask knowledgeable persons if you want to fully understand certain topics, like your prof/teachers, like what I did.

5. Practice Mock Exams with Time Limit - buying book reviewer, like Brain Box, usually comes with a mock exam. You can also find these CSE mock exams online and free. Please do not skip this tip. This will help you improve manage your time because the actual exam is really time consuming. You have to learn how to answer faster. So practice mock exams with time limit. 

6. Pray before and after you perform your review - among all the tips here, this is the most effective. Pray to God and talk to Him with all your heart. Let Him handle this battle. 

7. Don't announce that you are going to take the exam - you may allow some of your closest loved ones or friends but never announce it to the public. Believe me, you will feel less pressured and that will contribute to a healthy psychological well-being.

8. Check all the necessary documents/things you need to bring before the exam day - please don't do this on the day itself.

9. Check the exam venue before the date of your exam if possible - or at least google map it to plan your route going there. 

10. Be early on the day of your CSE - don't ruin all the efforts you have made for the last 3 months by being late. Be there at least 1 hour before the time. 

There you go. Hope these help. I really wanted to share these insights because it's the only thing I can do to help strangers acquire a passing score. 80% is not an easy score to achieve and that shows on the figures below:

I only passed because of the grace of God. That's why tip no. 6 is very important. After the exam, I already accepted that I indeed failed the exam, there's no way I could reach that 80% passing rate, I told myself, and if ever I passed, it's not because I can but only because of God's grace. Perhaps some of the guess I shaded, blessedly, turned out to be the right answers. I don't know, but I am sure it's not because of myself alone. And I pray, you too, pass this CSE and if not, don't give-up and try again. This was my score the last time I took CSE, it was also my first time. It's okay to fail. In my case, I turned it as a stepping stone to do better next time:

This is what I got now, praise be to God:

By the way, allow me to share my husband's rating as first time taker because I'm so amazed of his rating almost surpassing mine without a decent review as he say so. I don't know if he's bluffing, but during the 3 months of my review, I never saw him pick up my reviewer, so unless you have a brain like him, forget all the tips I mentioned 😅. But not no. 6 and No. 10. Never. 

P.S. if you saw the numbering mistake here, you are likely to pass CSE 😅.

When Mystery Scares

I had a weird dream when I was young. Perhaps I was around Grade 5 to early High School. I forgot when exactly I dreamt about it. 

This dream is one of the few things I remember vividly until now. And just recently, I think, it somehow made sense. 

In the dream, I was with a boy, and he was somehow helping me escape the villains following us. I don't remember his face. I didn't know what he looks like but I remember the feeling. The feeling he gave that I was secured and protected. That he won't let any harm befall me. And perhaps, I love him for that. 

When I woke up, I was left wondering what did I just dreamt and why did I dream that. Why does my subconscious brought me that dream. And look at me now, still remembering the details of that dream. 

But lately, I recognize the connection of that dream with my recent experienced on my reality. But how did my subconscious knew I will go through that situation many years from that moment?

The world is full of mystery. And there are things that should be left mysterious. I learned that you don't have to uncover all the mysteries in this life. Sometimes, you just have to have faith and keep holding on that faith and trust the Almighty who holds you in the palm of His hand. He is Omniscient, and may that kept you going despite being bombarded with mysteries that scares you. 

Remarkable Part: The Reason, The Mystery, The Return by Lacey Sturm

If you have heard about Flyleaf, then most probably you know who is Lacey Sturm. Yes, she was the vocalist of the band, now she uses her voice through writing about her testimonies and relationship with God. She continues to encourage more young people through her books and speaks.

She has written, as far as I know, 3 books. Yes, the ones mentioned at the title.

Since, my brother bought her 3 books, I hod the chance to read them and was inspired by her story and her passionate walk with God.

And here are rhe remarkable parts of the books (I am not going to mention which book the posted remarkable part is. It's up to you to find out, so I encourage you to read them too) :

1. 

2. 

3.

Sometimes, our God just wants to be our friend, not seeking praises or repentance, He just wants to be there to comfort and have a talk just like a best friend. 

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

Yes, I know. This one's very hard to apply.

17.

18.

19.

20.

"I had begun cold towards others. I doubted the ability to show the hope I had found to those who needed it. It was like the prodigal son. When he returned to his father after hitting bottom, he pleaded to him to be treated like one of his father's servant. That was his mentality. Just make me a servant. But his father would have none of that. He restored him to his status as a son and heir."

21.

22.

23.

24.

Battling Anxiety and Depression: You are not Alone

I never knew what depression and anxieties are until it hit me and experienced it myself. Thank God, He helped me go through it.

The first thing you should do when you are in this situation is to accept the fact that you're in that state of mind: anxious and depress. Otherwise, you wouldnt't be able to get out of it.

Second, don't pretend that you are tough and not needing the help of others. Don't build walls around you. Don't indulge yourself in the thought that no one will understand what you are going through. It is a lie that the enemy is instilling in your mind for you to lose this battle. Seek help from God and He will give you the right persons to also help you go through it. Be open to your family. Never ever doubt them. Ask for prayers. Listen to what God is saying to you. In this world, you will only recognize the voice and leading of God if you have a relationship with Him. Have a relationship with Jesus and the rest will follow. It won't be easy but you will be victorious with your relationship with Him. Be vulnerable to Him and trust Him.

Third, do the things that awaken the motivation in you. In my case, reconnecting with the nature plays a big part of it (although I am doing it quite some time before). It helped me remember how awesome and sovereign God is. It makes me remember how faithful God is in my life. It refreshes my whole being. Also, it makes me write and if you are following my blogs, you know for sure that writing is my passion. Reconnecting with the nature makes me create and produce a passion; a passion which was placed by God in my heart from the very beginning.

Fourth, use your situation to inspire and help others who go through the same situation. Like what I am doing now -- sharing this story. You went through it for a reason. And that reason will be revealed by God. But be careful, remember that what you went through wasn't about you. You should proclaim the goodness and works of God. Don't put yourself ahead of Him. Don't be decieved.

Fifth, say 'thank you' to all the persons God sent during your battle. Appreciate them. Family or friends. They are the truest of all the persons you have in your life.

Sixth, forgive those who have hurt you or caused you to suffer depression and anxiety. It doesn't matter if they ask for it or not. They may not know what they have caused you. Still, forgive. Release your forgiveness. And again, it is only possible when you have a relationship with Jesus. Because having a relationship with Jesus is also knowing Him intimately day by day, and you will know how big His heart is when it comes to forgiveness.

Seventh, and probably last, remember this passage from the Bible where Jesus said: Take heed and be of good courage, I have overcome the world. I forgot the verse but you can search it on google to double check. :D

Now to end this blog, here's some photos to lighten up your mood. These are proofs how sovereign God is. The world is His canvass, witness and feel.

-end-

Remarkable Part: Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

Several months ago, the TV series of this book was released and have watched by many. And for quite some time it went trending on line. While I, who's not into "what's in and what's not", managed to ignore the hype -- the way I am ignoring Game of Thrones. Well, I don't know if ignoring is the right term, but seriously, I don't give an F ;p or they're just aren't my thing.

Anyway, a friend from work has a copy of the book even before the series came to life. I wasn't aware of it. I didn't know that Thirteen Reasons Why was originally from a novel. So, I asked her the difference between the two and which is better. She said, the series changed several things from the original story. And she suggested that I should try reading the novel and later compared it with the TV series.

And now, here I am sharing my thoughts regarding its remarkable parts... remarkable parts for me, of course. Who else will be the judge here?  ;p

1.

 ...money.

(Halfway reading this book, I started to question the story. Like, "Gosh, what kind of town / school is this? Why all the characters are evil? Lahat na lang masama ugali? Duh!" And then, finally, I read something like this. At least, the book still proves that there's still hope in humanity.)

2.

(I feel Hannah. People need to stop talking when they don't even understand what they're talking about: the subject or the situation. Sometimes we just think what to say, but obviously failed to feel. And the truth is, we become a sounding cymbals. It's so annoying. And sometimes, irritating. And that won't help anyone.)

3.

(This book didn't mention about God. Not even a single word about Him. What the book failed to tell as a whole is that people who go through situations like Hannah should surrender everything to God. Yes, give up! Give up and give all your burdens, heartaches, disappointments, failures, brokenness and everything in between. Give it up to God. Cry it all out to Him -- The Great Listener, The Father, The Comforter and so on. He knows what you are going through and He wants you to stop looking around you and fix your eyes on Him. You are seeking help almost to everyone except God. Hannah did look and seek help to people around her, although indirectly, and she keeps on failing. Why? Because people, or whoever that person is, they will eventually fail you at some point in your life. We do that and we are so good at that. But God will not. And the lines above, reminds me of God. This is a perfect representation of Him and someone who completely leans on Him. We should be that car and God is our owner. He is always around to fix you.)

4.

(This reminds me of my man. The only man, next to God, who tried harder and keeps on trying harder. And wouldn't it be nice to do the same with your loved ones? They will thank you in the end and you will probably thank yourself too. They will feel good, and you will too. It's a win win situation. :D)


So there goes your penny for my thoughts.  ;p
And by the way, I'm still not going to watch the TV series. So, will you do the comparison for me. :D

Remarkable Scene: Shattered Glass

Warning: Spoiler Alert! (Stop reading now if you have not yet watched the film... But still, it's up to you... :D)

Shattered Glass was based on a true story but I was not expecting that the protagonist in this film will turn out as antagonist in the end. We all hate liars, and that Stephen Glass (the main character of the film) was not just a liar, he's a perfect liar. The kind of liar that would make another lie just to justify or cover the lies he had made. I HATE THAT KIND OF PERSON and I DON'T ALLOW THEM IN MY LIFE ANYMORE ONCE THEY GET BUSTED. I freaking hate how they can lie to you so perfectly. And to top it all, this guy worked in a world where truth and facts is a must, and is highly expected from them.

And since, I don't know nor have any idea about Stephen Glass, I have no idea how the story will turn out. And while I am watching the film, I was expecting that somehow things will be justified for the guy: that he has just been fooled by a source or something like that; that he did it on purpose to show or prove something regarding the world of journalism; that it was his first time to do such act; that he was really incapable of lying. But nah.

Anyway, although I hate those kind of jerks, I must admit that we all have flaws. We all have our favorite sin, some just sin differently. Or maybe it's a kind of sickness that they should be healed from. And still, we can learn something from the film, especially those aspiring journalists. :D

Below are scenes that somehow match the name of this blogsite :D

1. Reality can be so funny...

2. Her question will give a different meaning once you re-watched the film.

3. The word "influence" -- one of the main objectives in writing (well, at least for me)

4. Well, this is based on truth and facts. :D

5. He did his best, and tried more... I guess, Stephen didn't realize that.

6. Your friends? They will even defend you. But in the end, they'll discover that they too have been fooled.

I feel sorry for Stephen. I've watched some of his interviews and I felt sad for the consequences of what he had done. But that is what sin can do to us. They can break us; shatter us like glasses. And before that thing happen to you, might as well stop now and quit sinning. It is hard but God is just a call away. And redemption is always at hand. You just have to decide to be redeemed. And this is based on truth and facts, whether you accept it or not. :)