Tuesday, August 31, 2010

"SHELL-A"

S - H - E - L - L - A
Iyan ang gusto kong itawag sakin ng mga tao.
Pero ang totoo, Shiela ang pangalan ko.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero para sakin masyadong common ang Shiela, kaya mas pinili ko ang SHELLA.
Isang 'shell' na nilagyan ng titik 'a' sa dulo.
Iyon ang itawag niyo sa akin.

Oo, ayoko ng common, I strive to be creative and original.
Pero hindi naman ako outcast.

Hindi ako magugulat kung aakalain mong tahimik ako at mahiyain, malamang na bagong kilala mo palang sa akin.
Pero tama ka, minsan talaga tahimik ako pero hindi ibig sabihin nun e nahihiya ako, dahil wala sa bukabularyo ko ang hiya.
Pagsinabi kong nahihiya ako, 'wag kang maniniwala sa akin, tatlo lang ang totoong ibig sabihin nun: maaaring naninibago lang ako, o gusto kong pilitin mo ako o ayoko lang talaga.
Kapag minsan tahimik ako, ibig sabihin nun badtrip ako at 'wag kang magkakamaling dagdagan ang init ng ulo ko, pero pwede ring tahimik ako kasi ayoko lang talagang kausap ka.

Madaling uminit ang ulo ko, kaya 'wag kang magulat kung tatarayan nalang kita bigla 'pag may 'di ako nagustuhan sa ginawa o sinabi mo.
Aaminin ko, wala akong pasensya.
Huwag kang makipagdebate sakin kung hindi mo kayang harapin ang init ng ulo ko.
Malamang sa malamang ipaglalaban ko ang alam kong tama, kaya galingan mo ang pagpapaliwanag sakin para maunawaan ko ang punto mo.
Kung tumahimik man ako sa gitna ng debate, ibigsabihin nun maghanap ka ng kausap mo dahil ayoko ng makipag-usap sayo, malamang ang labo mong kausap.

'Wag mong papakelaman ang mga gamit ko lalung-lalo na ang mga mahahalaga sakin, kung hindi ka rin lang magpapaalam, baka kasi magsabong tayo.

'Wag mo rin ako hahamunin sa pataasan ng pride, kung hindi ka naman ganun kahalaga sakin, matatalo ka lang.

Pero ganun pa man, 'wag kang 'back fighter'.
Maging matapang ka na sabihin sa harapan ko ang lahat ng hinaing mo sakin, kung ayaw mong matawag na duwag.

Siguro ngayon, iniisip mo na komplikado akong tao.
Pwedeng nagkakamali ka.
Dahil madali mang uminit ang ulo ko, mas madali naman akong mapatawa.
Kahit gaano pa kakorni ang joke mo, matatawa pa rin ako dahil sa kakornihan mo.

Pinahahalagahan ko yung malalapit kong kaibigan dahil sila lang yung nakakaunawa sakin.
Tumataba ang puso ko 'pag pinapakita nilang kilala nila ang totoong ako.

May panahong seryoso ako, pero ibang klase din ako pagdating sa kalokohan.
Pwede akong matured sa harapan mo, pero madalas isip bata din ako.

Gaano man ako ka-moody sayo, ipagmamalaki ko pa rin na may puso ako.
Hindi mo 'to basta-basta makikita kung titingin ka lang.
Parang dagat: minsan payapa, minsan maalon; minsan high-tide, minsan low-tide.
Pero sa loob nito nandun pa rin ang totoong kagandahan.
Nandun din ang maraming 'shell'.

Pero ako, ako yung 'shell' na may titik 'a' sa dulo. :)

Monday, August 16, 2010

Rain in my different perspective.

Usually, life gets depressing when it's raining. I don't know about you, but for me, rain gives me the feeling of loneliness, irritation and most of all laziness. And I get accustomed with these feelings whenever it rains, which made me forget the beauty that it could give me.

I almost forgot how wonderful it feels like to play with the rain until I dance along with it again after how many years. That made me realized that I'm getting old because only a child and a child at heart could enjoy every raindrop on their skin that I almost failed to do. And I don't like that idea -- that I'm getting old and I'm starting to be one of those adults who take life seriously, and failing to see the other side of things, which they can possibly do back when they were younger.

Actually in reality, life is way too easy, it's just us who are making it complicated. So what if it's raining? Why don't we just grab the opportunity to listen to its sound and realized that it's actually a music. Why don't we try to play along with it and get soaking wet just like how we do it when we were younger.  "Feel the rain on your skin", like what a song said.

Be glad on whatever life gives you and in order to do that, you must learn to see things in a different perspective. God has a reason for everything.

And by the way, call me immature if you want to, I really wouldn't mind. I don't want to get old. It's always fun to be a child.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I'm not scared to die!

I'm not scared to die, I'm scared on how will I die and how painful will it be.


I'm not scared to die, it's just that I don't want it to happen now. I still haven't given my best to God.


I'm not scared to die, but I sure do hope to live long enough to fulfill my dreams.


I'm not scared to die, infact, I'm much scared to lose my ability to write than dying.


I'm not scared to die, But I'm still finding the very reason why God granted me to exist.


I'm not scared to die, but I want to know when will it be, so I could stop doing my responsibilities and do what I really like to while preparing my death party.


I'm not scared to die, and if it happens earlier than we expected, I want my super close friends to know it immediately. For they are very close to my heart, and I don't want them wondering why I'm not keeping in touch anymore. Tell them immediately that I die.


I'm not scared to die, for I know that I'll be forever alive in my love ones' heart. And my on-line blogs and noteblogs will hopefully remind them that I existed not just here on Earth but in  their lives. Please do read them, it could teach you many things. It will make you smile, laugh, angry, and think.


And lastly, I'm not scared to die for I know that I'll be with God. I'll be in a place called heaven sooner or later.


(Disclaimer: This is not a death note! I'm not scared to die, but I'm not one of those suicidals. :) )

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I'm immature? How about you?

What's the real definition of maturity?

I haven't really thought about the deeper meaning of that word, until last night.

You see, I  want to live my  life the way God wants me to, but I think I need hell lot of strengths to achieve that. And so now, I must admit that I sometimes chose to live my life the way I want it.

I am fond of procrastinating. Once I started to chill and relax, it will be hard for me to move on and start to do things that I should do. It's hard, but I can win it over only if I really want to.

I'm also the kind of person who laughs at all stuffs that she thinks is way too funny. People can make me laugh so easy. And that's one thing I love about my self, the passion for laughing. It's one of my ways to enjoy life as it is.

I'm indecisive most of the time, especially when my decision will affect my life and my future. So, I'd rather go asking some of my close friends than figuring out the right thing to do on my own. That's why I love my special friends. I can surely lean on them whenever I'm in need. I thank God so much for them and for giving a not so loving but caring and real funny family. :)

But let's not talk about myself, let's talk about maturity and it's relation to me, if there's one.

Let's assume that there's a little maturity within me, how will you define it? Nah, you're not getting my point right. Maybe because you're too damn matured than me and you can't understand me because you think I'm immature.. hahahaha. Whatever!! nananana.. :P

Or maybe.. I'm too damn matured than you and you're not getting my point because you don't think like how the way I think.

So, what do you think?
Which is which? :)