However, I know that there are circumstances that will require my clarification about love, or in a much direct word, about 'having a boyfriend'.
So for clarity's sake, I'll try my best to explain in a way that would make you understand my point of view on having a boyfriend.
First and foremost, let me clarify that
Most people think that I am afraid to love and to fall in love, especially those whom I considered as my friends, but again
I don't usually go out on a date with guys because those guys who had asked me out were complete strangers: which either I met during a bus ride, or somewhere while I'm chilling out alone.
Okay, don't get me wrong, I know that dating was made for the sake of "getting-to-know-eachother" stuff, but hell no! I wont go out with a guy that I just met, not just because I don't trust these guys but also because they only asked me out 'cause I look good in their eyes. I also have this impression that those guys are "chickboys". So tell me, should a girl be going out with this kind of jerks. I say
Yes, I go out with my guy friends but that's because they are my guy friends, nothing less and nothing more.
Secondly, I am not a cold-hearted girl. It's not that hard to make me fall in love.
To tell you honestly, I have this tendency to fall in love so easily (gosh, I can't believe I'm telling this in public), I've been in love for many times but it doesn't mean that I've been in a relationship for many times. Yes, I keep it all inside. I never gave a hint of my slightest feelings when I'm in love. It's really my nature to be caring, sweet and thoughtful. So when I fell in love with a guy, he will never know it and he will never know when I stop loving him. I don't care if he gets confuse but that's how I want it to be. The reason is simple, I just wanted to be sure that the man I fell in love with is a man whom I wont fall out of love no matter what. Call it playing safe if you want, but for me it's better that way. I'm just saving both ourselves from a wasted commitment.
So unless I'm sure that I wont fall out of love with this man, I wont grab the opportunity to have him as my third and last boyfriend. Yes, you read it right. I am not just looking for a boyfriend but a husband.
Third and maybe the last issue I will clarify: I'm single, but it doesn't mean I'm loveless and it doesn't mean I'm a flirt.
Being flirt is so much different with being nice. So don't you judge me that I'm a flirt, I'm just being nice.
I love all my friends even guys. I hang out with them, laugh with them, hold their hands and hug them. They are very close to my heart. And if I were to choose between boyfriend and them, I will choose them --- my super close friends. They know exactly who I am, well except for this part of my life that I'm avoiding to talk about.
See I am more than happy even without a boyfriend. I am loved, surrounded by my friends and love ones, and God loves me much, that's why I have all the reasons to be happy. So why be a girlfriend of a guy if it could be way better being friends? But then again, I'm not a flirt. :)
So I guess, the man whom I wont fall out of love should also be man enough to accept that I love my guy friends. :)
Yeah, I also think it's complicated, and you know what? It's not just complicated, it's ridiculous. Because the man whom I wont fall out of love no matter what,
I aint really looking for a perfect one, just the man whom I wont fall out of love no matter what.
And if anyone would ask why I'm single, I'll tell that person to read this blog. For that person will not fully understand me by just answering "IT'S A CHOICE."
Now, Do you fully understand? :)
