My Hopes are High

 

" I hope that wherever you go next, you feel peace, you feel safe in a way that you never did here."

"I can love you and still let you go."

As I was browsing FB, I came across this post, these lines from the series 13 Reasons Why, and it reminded me of one person -- my Mama. 

It's been almost 5 months since she went in the arms of God. I know she's in the loving arms of God now and that she no longer feel pain and suffering brought by her illness and by certain circumstances in life. Still, the pain of losing her pains me. Not granting her healing, still hurts. Losing her still hurts. I don't know if it's just a phase I need to go through; that the mourning will pass as time goes by. As of now, it feels that this pain will always stay in my heart, and that's okay. I'm okay with that. I can move on from it and still feel the pain of losing her. It's part of me now and that's okay. Maybe I will be hurt everytime I remember that she could have lived her life with us happy and abundantly without illness and failure from her dreams that she maybe dreamt of ever since she was young. And I saw her failing every time she tries. But who I am to say that she has failed. Maybe she has succeeded more than that and it's just between her and God. 

The beautiful life I imagine with her that never happened in this timeline will always haunt me though I know she is perfectly happy and fine wherever she is now. 

My hopes are high that wherever she is right now, she feels peace, she feels safe and healthy, she finds true love the way she never did here. 

I love you, Mama. I can love you and still let you go. 

Remarkable Part: Muling Nanghaharana ang Dapithapon ni RM Topacio-Aplaon

Ito na marahil ang pangalawang libro na akda ng Pilipino na nagkaroon ako ng interes basahin ng isang upuan lang. Hindi sa literal na natapos ko ito ng isang upuan, kundi 'yung mayroong pagnanais na ipagpatuloy mong basahin ang kwento hanggang sa matapos ito. 

Kung nasusubaybayan niyo ang mga book reviews o reaction ko, marahil ay alam ninyong umaabot ng ilang buwan, mayroon pa ngang taon kapag nagbabasa ako ng nobela. Well, to be honest, maiiksing nobela lang din naman 'yung natatapos ko ng agaran, kagaya nitong MULING NANGHAHARANA ANG DAPIT HAPON ni RM Topacio-Aplaon na overnight ko lang nabasa (natulog ako ha).

Bukod sa hinihimok ng nobelang ito ang mga manunulat na muling magsulat o huwag bumitaw sa sining, mayroong tatlong "remarkable" na nagustuhan ko sa istorya. Hindi ito mga linya o excerpt, katulad ng iba kong nagawa sa book reviews, kahit mayroon naman. Kundi yung para sa kabuuan ng pagbasa ko dito.

1. 'Yung may namagitan sa dalawang bida ngunit hindi kinakailangan may mamagitang halik o higit pa. Gusto ko 'yung nagkaroon ng respeto ang manunulat sa dalawang character na parehong may unresolved issues at hindi niya ipinilit magkaroon ng ganuong relasyon. 

2.  'Yung kahit maliliit na detalye maiimagine mo na parang nanunuod ka ng pelikula na mayroong extreme long shot, wide angle, extreme close up at iba pa. 

3.  Na naiisip ko yung fiance ko kapag dini-describe ni Rafael ang dagat dahil ganuong-ganuon din ituring ng fiance ko ang mahika nito sa kanya. 

Marami pa akong nais isulat patungkol dito ngunit masyado nang personal para sa mambabasa ko (katulad nung No. 3) at sa tingin ko ay hindi na healthy iyun dahil magiging puro patungkol ito sa akin at hindi na sa libro. Kaya kung ako sa inyo, basahin niyo na at nang maintindihan ninyo ang pinanggagalingan ko. 

Sa maiksing salita, isa sa magagandang nobelang nabasa ko. Gayunpaman, hindi ako sang ayon na hindi na maganda ang Manila Bay. Marahil ay nagsawa lamang titigan ng manunulat dahil sa araw-araw nitong nakikita ito sa biyahe, ngunit maganda pa din ito, lalo na kung sasapit ang dapithapon. Tanungin niyo 'yung taong unang beses itong nasilayan. Pustahan. 

Hanggang sa muli.

P.S. Oo, mabagal ang Globe. Lahat ng network mabagal.

Quarantine Output (so far)

What would be my output after this quarantine? 

Still working on it.

For now, here's some:

Yes, I know, these were quite an output. 

Pardon my golden voice.  😅

Remarkable Part: The Reason, The Mystery, The Return by Lacey Sturm

If you have heard about Flyleaf, then most probably you know who is Lacey Sturm. Yes, she was the vocalist of the band, now she uses her voice through writing about her testimonies and relationship with God. She continues to encourage more young people through her books and speaks.

She has written, as far as I know, 3 books. Yes, the ones mentioned at the title.

Since, my brother bought her 3 books, I hod the chance to read them and was inspired by her story and her passionate walk with God.

And here are rhe remarkable parts of the books (I am not going to mention which book the posted remarkable part is. It's up to you to find out, so I encourage you to read them too) :

1. 

2. 

3.

Sometimes, our God just wants to be our friend, not seeking praises or repentance, He just wants to be there to comfort and have a talk just like a best friend. 

4.

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16.

Yes, I know. This one's very hard to apply.

17.

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20.

"I had begun cold towards others. I doubted the ability to show the hope I had found to those who needed it. It was like the prodigal son. When he returned to his father after hitting bottom, he pleaded to him to be treated like one of his father's servant. That was his mentality. Just make me a servant. But his father would have none of that. He restored him to his status as a son and heir."

21.

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